You're the only person with a favorite bar in Disneyworld
any chance you can send me your legal ethics outline, in exchange for say, me buying you a lapdance the next time we go to the strip club?
Did you pluck my eyebrows one night when I passed out?
high enough to want to lick peanut butter off of Michael Buble's vocal chords as he serenades me.
I could hear them screwing through my bedroom wall again this morning, so I started beat boxing to the tempo.
I'm going to join a nudist colony to win $1000. There are no down-sides to this.
On my way, five mins. Is the line long? Do you think they will they hold a pumpkin at coat check?
Just had an hour long talk with a woman, turns out she's the mom of the guy i lost my virginity to. Even better his dog was also present.. Meeting the family at its best?
Of course I have a pirate flag
She moaned the name on my fake id during sex, that or she's cheating on me with someone named Victor
PEOPLE ARE STILL EATING FAJITAS IN DROVES. BY THE CASELOAD. THERES A FORKLIFT OF SIZZLING MEATS.
He got up in the middle of the show and returned with this massive ham shank, then offered me some by asking "wanna suckle on my hog." Should I be offended?
I found my wallet. Still have no idea when I put mad dog in my steel water bottle, though...
My last Google search was 'can an impotent man have sex'. I don't even want to know what I did with that guy.
I kept my extra Molly pill in my wallet in the change part, that's also where I keep my body jewelry while I'm working. The nose ring punctured the pill essentially coating itself in MDMA. My nose ring is back in my nose. This could be entertaining
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