he smells like the inside of heather mills' fake leg
I think we should start referring to bisexuals as "strays"
Exactly how deep of a burn should you have when you pee before becoming legitimately concerned?
I'm not sure...it could be the pasta I ate from her sink, the dominoes, or just the alcohol. Or a wicked combination of all 3.
There's a warrant out for his arrest for throwing a mannequin through a bus stop.
And the funny thing is when I went to the kitchen this morning, all 4 pizzas were still there in their boxes, untouched. My question to you is: what were we eating last night?
No no no no no no.... That's my emergency bottle for when I realize I've hit rock bottom
he congratulated me on my ability to grow long hair after pulling it to see if i had extensions
Would I waste your time for mediocre porn?
I'm pretty sure NORMAL roommates don't have to hide each others sex toys from their fuck buddies.
A man can only lie in bed watching COPS for so long before he wants to do things that can lead him to starring on the show.
She swallowed the key to the cuffs, I've been having to explain the pink fuzz all morning.
Three cans of beer can fit in the shower catty... multi tasking
Go shave, and then go fuck the man
YOU ARE SO CRUDE, I LOVE YOU
I texted her mom a picture of us doing it saying "I'm trying to make your daughter just like you!" she was not amused.
Randomize
