I left my keys in the garlic bread freezer in Publix.
I meant the "stage" gay, Not the "bend me over and call me Gary" gay.
I wish we never smoked. I'm literally laying in bed opening and closing my eyes, just hoping a hot dog stand will appear in the room.
how many times in life can you be kicked out of a pizza buffet for vomiting on the food and insulting small children
mom just texted me "hawaii ambien". those are like the two things she talks about to keep me interested in spending time with her.
Wtf. I just got invited to a threeway bj session in the bathroom at boiler. Lmao
I have pictures of you scratching against the sliding glass door on your knees screaming how you felt like a lamb.
U should just post that picture of u two on facebook with the caption, does anyone know this girl? If so please tell her to take plan b, thanks
I only put bad things in my body...jack, caffeine, chocolate, pills, and rich's cock. It's like being holistic but exactly opposite
You just sat there for two solid hours staring at your monitor and every five minutes screamed "LEGOOOOOS"
It's like she fell out of an MTV reality show and no one knows how to send her back
mom how many of the songs from my childhood are mexican drinking songs?
all of them.
Well there's only 4 people in my class, we've watched a video, the instructors encouraged us to start using cocaine and now we are on break.
It's been productive.
I don't care how many things you caught on fire, it's still not as bad as doing coke and then filming yourself having sex.
so you might not believe this but he made a powerpoint. and gave you a 3.5/10.
Randomize
