with your own penis?
i have the juiciest gold medal in my pants
I was so high I couldn't tell if they were goosebumps or herpes.
I can't be drunk. Sober yes. Drunk no. Spoonfuls
You were high and telling me you felt like Pinocchio and that fire was bad for wood.
do you think this outfit says "I maintained my dignity this weekend"?
You want to get day drunk this afternoon and watch these guys build a house across the street?
So what's the moral standing on reading gay porn on your phone whilst sitting next to your 87 year old Grandma?
i don't remember going ever taking off my pants but my pubes are shaved into a K and kelsey is passed out in the shower.
I can't go to class, I have all this weed to sell
This is stupid. I am not getting knocked up from fucking in his backseat behind a starbucks. I refuse.
Took his shirt off. Announced he was Jesus. Threw up. Asked me to cuddle him to sleep. And then tried to kiss me. Typical Saturday night.
Just spilled a coffee mug full of scolding hot oatmeal on my bare dick. Hope you're having a good Friday night too.
Considering we're about to fuck, I really need your girlfriend to stop liking all my Facebook posts.
mid-october of freshman year. goals have shifted from "no more guys on my floor" to "all the guys on my floor."
Randomize
