If you want to dance with a less than stellar Asian chick, I have just the girl for you.
sorry about calling you the devil all night.
just drew up plans to mow my front lawn into the American flag for world cup. that high and patriotic.
It's a sign that no dudes december is about to start: I have a yeast infection.
my heart is telling me chinese, but my head is telling me beer.
There is a reason for guards on beard trimmers I just clipped a wrinkle on my sack so much blood
So. How about you can get tequila certified...
I feel like a monkey keeps fucking me in the ear with a trombone as a dick.
I've figured out why I love winter sex. Because I make them leave the beanie on, and we all know I love a man in a beanie.
She left a blunt and poutine on my nightstand with a note saying "went to the gym. be ready for round three when I get back" I love Canadian chicks
Dude I'm so clean right now. Like I feel insulted that I can pass a piss test.
You showed up at my front door in a bikini with a fifth of tequila it was like the opening to a porno
You would think by the size of the lump on my ass that I would have remembered falling down a flight of stairs.
It's beautiful and huge. Like a dinosaur.
So turns out my new assistant isn't really my assistant. The owner needed a title for his FWB so his wife wouldn't catch on. I got a three hundred a month credit limit boost on my corporate credit card instead.
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