i just realized that fran drescher is the 90's version of a guidette.
I don't get why Lindsay Lohan doesn't just blame her bad behavior on her twin sister from the Parent Trap. I mean nobodys seen her since.
You were so hammed, you asked your buddy in Economics to plot a demand curve for Parmesan Cheese.
sorry i couldnt make it to your birthday last night. i admit i chose being a whore over you.
"Students using Axe body spray to light selves on fire" is a real headline from a real newspaper. WHY AREN'T WE DOING THIS RIGHT NOW?
Drunk
Deyhxbr
Fucaerrrrr
Shrimp lo Mein doused in green apple Smirnoff is a rare delicacy only a few get to experience..guess I should consider myself lucky
She ended up puking in the bathroom. But she's a good drunk... i told her to stay in there so i could dance til the club closed. She was still in the stall an hour later.
He just stared me dead in the eye as he continued to beat off. Then said "you were going to catch me sooner or later".
Speaking of boners I learned how to say " jizz everywhere" in sign language
we both turned hook ups into relationships we are crushing this thing called life right now.
See, remember when you wanted to get an Ashley Madison account and I told you not to and you hated me? You. Are. Welcome.
FYI, his "son" is a Chihuahua.
he told me that I'm basically going to be the mom of the house when they move in...i like to see it as being a MILF without the responsibility of real children
I think it's time for tequila and I to go our separate ways
Randomize
