Totally smoking with fifteen year olds.
I faked an abortion last night.
it's like, God thought about making her pretty then changed his mind at the last second
we put the last xanax in the middle and played hungry hungry hippos to see whod get it
fair is fair
i was able to set 4 alarms to make sure i woke up in time for class but i couldnt take the open beer out of my pocket before i did cartwheels down the hall...
It is scary how often "just flash him" is your advice.
The rest of us are chipping in to soundproof your bedroom. This is getting ridiculous.
We need to tone down the drinking before our 7pm class. I don't remember receiving any of these handouts.
So right before she was about to give me head she tapped the tip and said "Is this thing on" I think I'm in love.
I'm in public and Taylor Swift is playing. It is taking all my effort to not screech like a goat.
When you're all settled in, text me, and I can sorta apologize for saying that your phone can suck my dick. What I really meant to say is that your Windows phone can suck my Android phone's dick.
My vagina: 1 Male stubborness: 0
It's not my fault you decided to fall in love with a Frodo Baggins lookalike
I told him I wanted to get on him and ride him to Montana. It didnt end like i thought it would.
Honestly, you can’t tell the whole sorority he has a donkey dick and expect that no one would sleep with him after you broke up
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