Then you jumped off your bed with your arms outstretched, yelled "I'm Goliath, watch out New York!" and then began singing the Gargoyles theme song as you 'soared' around your room.
Don't be ridiculous, the Gargoyles theme song has no words. How could I sing that mess?
You just started going "da da da da da! da da da da da! DA DA!!" then going "swoosh" as you glided about.
Tell us when you see the semi truck on fire.
I wish there was a non slutty way to ask the guys across the hall if i can copy their men's bathroom key so I have one for my one night stands
Drunk versus high capture the flag: what team is everybody gonna be on?
I peed glitter this morning and had a beard drawn on my face with eyeliner. Last time I do shots with gay Dan.
...But it's not like we would be the first people to pay for an abortion with student loans and cell phone rebates.
I feel like the other woman.
You ARE the other woman.
I wish they'd wear their tampons on the outside. At least gimme some warning
watched my neighbor eat five yodels, mow his lawn, and then cry on his porch after the party... what did you give him?
I have to masturbate tonight while watching every Paul Walker movie ever made. It's what he would have wanted. RIP Paul.
My tongue is raw from licking all that salt with my tequila shots...happy cinco de mayo
We fucked. Had a political debate. I won. So I sat on his face.
Last night you dunked donut holes in spinach dip, ate it, threw up, and continued eating. I cant keep up with your drunk eating skills.
I was wondering where the donuts went.
I just realized I have a habit of pre gaming for therapy visits. Problem?
We'll discuss it when you get here
Nope. I'm an adult now. I can successfully avoid to vomit in defiance of the porcelain god\n
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