She actually said during sex "the only thing that would make this more perfect is if we were listening to Lenny Kravitz"
So, obviously, you had to give a fake number this morning.
Yes. Also, we may never be able to go back to that bar again.
I'm sorry, but you without makeup is like christmas without presents.
Oh and discovery of the day is it's the channel, not the time on your cable box. Thought it was 2:16 for 4 hours
Good luck! Who knows he might be a stallion in the bedroom! or it could be like having sex with a crayon.
I sat down with you and helped you write your will last night. I was THAT convinced that you weren't waking up.
He kept calling my vagina a magic clam, and it was speaking to him, telling him to feed it his penis. I played along.
We're drinking vodka. Wine is for people who have to wake up in the morning.
I just wish I could congratulate your tits on how much I love seeing them
From now on I forbid you to refer to it as a "bed". From now on you must only use the phrase "sex wagon".
I dnt think she needs convincing on the threesome part, it's the threesome with your roommate situation that needs some work
Take a good hard look at your life. And the number of 18-20 year olds that you have made out with in the last 6 months... and then keep doing whatever the fuck you want.
I opened the door and his girlfriend was standing there; we made silent, prolonged eye contact as I quietly put on my panties and left.
Just an FYI i'm going to get drunk as shit while you are on duty and attempt to not fall into the bathtub again.
Rodger that.
Between the deep breathing and nipple piercings , I thought I was in the twilight zone
Hey, sorry I choked you last night... I was just really excited to see you.
Randomize
