I miss you like a fat girl misses the prom.
It doesn't have to be a walk of shame...just pretend he took you to breakfast.
No one shows this much boob at breakfast
so when we got to the frat house he had a travel sized toothpaste and toothbrush for me and gave me a pair of his shorts and a girl's sorority t shirt...something tells me he's done this before
if you think for one second that i'm not using my mittens as hand puppets at the bar tonight then u dont know me at all!
I just saw a girl walk by me wearing a "kiss me I'm pro choice" shirt. Is that a signal for easy access?
and then she judged me for using my bra as a potholder. hard times my friend, welcome to college.
Just so you know there's a random man downstairs knocking on a door with a dozen roses and a 30 pack of beer. Unattractive or not, I'm inviting him in.
He said he had a problem he needed to take care of before we got omelets and then showed me his erection.
Then again, I'm single and napping with a stuffed yoda doll...so I'm not the world's authority on shit.
NO I WOULD NOT GET A GUMMER FROM A GRANDMOTHER
You were supposed to behave this weekend.
But... naked.
I do not mind being torn from the first touches of sleep to see a man who looks like that
I finished OITNB and broke it off with my fuck buddy in the same day. It's going to be a rough week
i don't know when underwear became an acceptable clothing choice for parties, but god help me i hope this isn't a passing trend.
Foreign objects found in purse this morning include: chocolate covered pretzels, pepper spray, and farm animal shaped key chains (you know the ones you squeeze and fake poop comes out, yea those)
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