nut hugger
What wine goes with Cap'n Crunch?
Hey, don't feel sorry for me, the two girls in front of me just ordered 18 dollars worth of taco bell. Life could be worse.
She soaked the fruit in vodka for ten minutes and then mixed it with normal fruit and sherbert icecream. It was called "lottery fruit".
And then she was like, "don't do anything. No blow jobs, don't let him stick his fingers in weird places because people have germs."
Road construction signs are deceptively heavy
this is why ugly people need low self esteem. it stops them from doing shit like this.
Yeah dude. Pulled out the couch and a bird flew at me. Please tell me who put a bird in my house.
just really comprehended the fact that I'm getting high at the same place I used to play as a child. the nostalgia and thc is mixing together in one, intense wave. WHO HAVE I BECOME
I'll have to text you later. Trying to have civilized conversations with the boyfriends parents when I'm 100% aware I just blew their son in the bathroom 5 mins ago. Stay tuned.
Can you get snapchat back so I can show you all the places I threw up in/on last night?
I think I swiped left on my soulmate
I woke up in a front yard I didn't recognize to a grandma tapping me with her foot. What was in that punch?
Like pizza and mermaids make up about 1/3 of my thoughts on the weekends.
I LACK THE NECESSARY BRAIN FUNCTIONS TO BE ABLE TO PROPERLY RESPOND TO THAT
Randomize
