Do u have any bacon or vodka by chance
just saw Chris Hanson on the street. looked immediately around for video cameras. why is that my immediate reaction?
Hey i just realized that im masturbating in the exact same kind of chair that they are doing it on in this porno
I wanna fuck padma even more now that she's preggers. Is that sick?
Yes but- 100% agreed
I thought i'd save money with No Heat November but the amount of whiskey i have to buy to stay warm is probably adding up to more than a heat bill.
The last thing I remember before blacking out was telling Jamie that she was too fat even for my standards. The first thing I remember after blacking out was waking up next to her.
One of those nights had to have been when we tried to walk through the McDonald's drive through -- and then got in the car with complete strangers. And stole their hamburgers.
I. Put. Them. Back. We are NOT making a habit of jail visits.
I should work for the FBI. Or planned parenthood.
That's quite a broad spectrum. What did you do?
You shouldn't have to. I think you should bust into work like "pay homage to my magical vagina!"
I said his dick tasted like a Hawaiian Sweet Roll. And then I yelled MAHALO.
You probably shouldn't do that...but if you do take pictures
It was the scariest thing ever having a flame that close to my balls...
I didn't really understand how big 10 inches is. Now I know.
Worst sex ever! He was a talker for sure! I was on top and out of no where he said "Oh you bad bitch?" I stopped and left.
Randomize
