pwbgyin
what?
penguin condom
if you call bong hits and onion rings a party, then yeah
Michael Bay diarrhea
My doctor just informed me that my food allergies qualify me for a medical marijuana license. I get it on Tuesday. It won't help at all, but my life is awesome!
I felt weird they were both staring at me waiting for the scoop on how your vagina felt.
It's sore actually
I just followed a trail of feathers and glitter to class. Today better be fucking magical.
hey, i'm all for honesty but let's not get carried away
Just met me in 10 years...this lady keeps an emergency wine cooler in her bag
Well she described you as a "Sex-Viking", which seemed to be only slightly related to the red beard. So things are looking good!
There are two guys dressed like Spartans from 300 at this bar and they're making out and I needed you to know this
We just broke my bed mid-sex, laughed, then continued. If that isn't true love I don't know what is.
Yeah, I'm sure we have time for sex AND ihop.
Heyyyy, naked guy in your kitchen, can i ask you a quick question about a legal situation in pb??
you thought the best thing to say to him was "you aint no fuckin cop"
If you think I'm going to drive 5.5 hours just to bang a guy, you'd be absolutely right.
Randomize
