not only are you not the girl i fell in love with, but from the looks of it, you ate her
Jager Bombs are cool, but hydrogen bombs are where it's at. Sparks and jager equals instant black out, I mistakenly tried eating a cigarette thinking it was a nacho.
I get free beer too. Its called a vagina and its accepted everywhere like visa
he called to tell me the scratches were still on his back. this was in the summer.. still the best hookup
she kicked me out for pissing in the recycling bin. I mean, is it really THAT big of a deal?
I asked the full emergency room who else was there because of homecoming and every single person raised their hand
SOMEONE has to puke in the potted plants at an Xmas party. As their boss I felt it should be me.
You sat on a wall pretending to be a gargoyle before shouting "batman!" and jumping at me
I'm the drunk Des Moines deserves, but not the one it needs
according to the video, you won you first drunken karaoke contest based off of your actual singing abilities and not because you took your shirt! I've never been prouder :)
The 78 year old woman who works next to me divorced her ex husband, remarried her first husband, and retired all in one day. I'd say it makes your breakup on Valentine's day pretty insignificant.
EW HE JUST SNAPPED ME A NUDE BUT HE CENSORED HIS DICK BY COLORING IT I DID NOT ASK FOR THIS
I just got three pairs of underwear free and a bathing suit for $20 by modeling them and letting the salesman grope me a bit.
It's great being a young gay man in Chicago!
The highlight was when a stranger was nose to nose with you threatening to kick ur ass, and you said "Is that your real face? Stopped him dead.
You threw up on his face 22 hours ago and now he's here holding your hand. I think he likes you.
He went down on me while i ate a whole 7/11 pizza. New level unlocked
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