Swine flu is the new snow day.
I am so hungover and cant move but craving a Wendys frosty so bad. I might have to watch 2 girls 1 cup just to settle the urge
She stared for a good 10 seconds before calling my dick "awe-inspiring", and then proceded to give me blueballs. All in all the ego boost made my night break even
i know this sounds kinda weird but his cock smelled like fabric softener. it was so refreshing.
obviously he wasnt ready for this jelly and you can quote me on that
You were great dude. You wanted to charge the guy with fedora $100 to get in.
If you go to Tinseltown tonight. First bathroom on the left, second stall. Avoid. It's still coming to terms with what I did to it.
Just got smoked out by my boss. Working in politics is great.
I was grinding on him when mosquitoes starting biting us and ruined every damn thing. I just wanted to fuck on a slide under the stars. It's every girls dream.
I really shouldn't have to tell you to stop banging your lightsaber on everything while we are in college.
She was about to leave with you until you started singing "You Hoes Ain't Loyal" in her face
You didn't throw up on me, you threw up on yourself and then tried to give me a hug
Sex in a tree, bucket list CHECK!
Woke up in a house I don't know, with someone else's pants on, and wolverine hair, to my girlfriend yelling on the phone about the 4 girls I made out with last
i am also 80% sure that my shirt glows in the dark.
Randomize