we need to drink 2009 down the drain
im in class. still drunk. wearing one sock. eating a breakfast sandwich and trying to make sure this bottle of whiskey doesnt fall out of my purse in front of my professor
I'm surrounded by too many unhungover people.
I googled what to do, and it said to squeeze the pressure out so people are taking turns sitting on my head. I can't believe I'm allowing this
Asking the cop for directions wearing a lion mask may not have been my best moment...
thank you for letting me use your house as a brothel.
Jordan and I are drunk and barred out at the liquor store sitting in the awesome $70 Corona bench bargaining with the owner for a lower price, all while passing the Belvedere bottle between the two of us. Real life. College has down this.
Listen, you need to start thinking with your vagina and not with your heart... That emotional shit is for your 30s.
I'm Michael Phelps, Olympic Champion.
Are you just smoking weed? Cause that's not actually a Michael Phelps costume
I am the only person I know ever to have been brought TO the bar in the back of a cop a car. Twice.
The only thing I know is that these arent my shoes and Aaron is missing and he has my house keys.
I FUCKED WHEELCHAIR DUDE
HE'S INTO WEIRD SHIT
GOOD KIND OF WEIRD SHIT
How did I get the fat lip, while puking I may or may not have sneezed... Wacking my face into the toilet bowl...
She came home, put on the news, left a 20 minute drunk message on her friends machine, then proceeded to play back the entire message laughing hysterically and then just passed out
He ate me out for an eternity. Like fell asleep, woke up, and he was still doing it.
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