can you buy anything in the cafeteria for less than $2? I spent the last of my laundry money on a chia pet
She's allergic to latex.
Lucky bastard.
He just climbed off me and used my hairspray to fix his hair. If he hadn't just gone down on me I would think he's gay.
fun fact #6 about tuesday nights: giving head with two 40s taped to your hands is not as easy as you would think
I woke up to find his roommate face down on the couch with no pants on, with a sticky note that said "was lost but now am found"
IF I CAN STICK YOUR DICK IN MY MOUTH, I CAN STICK MY GUM ON YOUR NIGHTSTAND.
im not sure what exactly happened but i may need help faking my own death
Well, I saw an Olympian's genitals tonight, so it can't be that bad.
Our relationship needs a sober moment
I'll call you when that happens
I had tater tots and weed with a stripper at 4am who compared the size of my boob to her head because fuck you my life rocks
You know you had a good night when your wearing you best friends pants to work the next day
Dude. She was wearing nothing but Wonder Woman panties and a flag for a cape and sneaking around leaving PBR's by passed out people for the morning. She called herself the 'Merica Fairy.
Why haven't you proposed already?
He was going down on me and all I could think about was how proud of me you'd be
If you feel frisky later I have a cowboy hat that would look great on you naked...
Who is this......
Ps can u get with my cousin? He's a freshman at uconn and he's very attractive but like were related....
Randomize
