Youre a pretentious asshole and im not sure who you think you are. Get the hell over yourself and the self righteous culture snob image because its pretty obnoxious.
I guess there's a 50 percent chance that it was her that wet my bed.
You should really figure out how to get me a picture that will pop up on my phone when you call
Just upload a picture of Bea Arthur. That's what my soul looks like these days
Dude i think i got lasagna in my eye
No one knows who he is but he hasn't missed a shot in beer pong yet. He's dressed as lance armstrong and is tearing shit up.
Yeah sorry about that. I got pulled into the Russian student society's end of term party. There was too much vodka and eurodance to come help you pack.
How long is enough time to schedule homosexual exploration... Like an hour?
you can't tell me not to come to work cause roads are bad then ask me an hour later to come in and expect me to be sober
You know what? The sex was so bad that I don't even care that I gave him strep.
Well, I woke up on a roll-away, with a knot in the back of my head and penis confetti stuck to me. Also, I apparently literally gave the shirt off my back right before I passed out, so I was topless. Vegas won this trip.
He usually doesnt care about me cumming but last night he really tried, I feel that him going to the Womens March benefitted my sex life
NOT PREGNANT HIGH FIVE!
We lost you in the bar so we waited outside for you...next thing you know you kick open the doors and yell "I'M ALIVE"
We were dancing and then he pointed to the club floor and there was money that I dropped everywhere. That was the nicest thing someone has ever done for me.
just bought safety googles to wear so he can cum on my face and not in my eye. SAFETY FIRST!
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