She has some nice fakeys. She is also an exotic entrepreneur.
i celebrated the independence of our country by dry heaving tequila all morning. so classy. happy 4th.
me texting you is like we have secret walkie talkies.
He was trying to put his hand up my shirt but I remembered the coke was stashed in my bra so I moved his hand to my pants
With me living this close to Mexico now, Tequila is just a geographical choice at this point if nothing else.
I made the jerking off hand motion to my mother by accident this morning. It was awkward for everyone involved.
I am still sore from last night. I can't wait for you to meet my parents.
He's in a nude suit, bald, with a pink headband and a black sharpie streak down his forehead.
He just sent me the contact information about getting the Zebra for graduation...
would it be uncouth to smoke a joint during office hours
This is why you're my favorite TA
I don't really want to talk about it, but if anyone finds my unicorn mask with my bra in it, I would really like that back.
CODE RED CODE RED MY VIBRATOR IS BROKEN THIS IS NOT A DRILL
My neighbors are white girl rapping to Hamilton again...
Cancelling your gym membership calls for alcohol.
I want to disappear from this job like a fart in the wind.💨
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