If Andre Agassi did Crystal Meth, what was John McEnroe doing?
Ha Ha the cop that just pulled me over would like me to tell you hi!
So I'm eating my sandwich... and a penny fell out of it.
Another night, another sound of my neighbor almost having an orgasm.
And she used to have such long ones. Sad.
ME TOO. Am adrunk madr out qith. White guy. Guy de white. Blanco chico. Chico de blanco
We were thinking he might be gay. Like how the fuck do you not even make out with a girl that made you a grilled cheese
That makes the second boyfriend of hers that I've fucked. I'm gonna start keeping an eye on every guy she even speaks to. Girl is my sexual rabbit's foot.
Looking at an apartment in Houston. It's right beside my favorite bar and the zoo. Best or worst decision?
I even tried crushing up viagra and putting it in his beer... And the next day he found the package on the counter. I told him it was for my friends husband.
I don't know who's more excited for you to come home. Me or my vagina
My ex came over to hook up...then I went on a date 2 hours later and got a bj. Single: Finally doing it right.
Your poor dick will look at you and scowl for all the abuse he's going to take this week.
wow bdsm is so cute
can you tell me why i woke up in a diaper and combat boots?
"suitors" is just a nice way of her saying "the guys i'm fucking"
Randomize
