nosebleed girl is getting lots of praise
Dude my date hates me, Im on a rooftop full of Turkish people, and Ricky Martin is blasting on the radio. I was wrong earlier when I said I have my shit together
I can't wait to see her breast feed this thing
So when I got her home I realized being a lesbian again isn't like riding a bike...
I didn't plan on sleeping with him until he told me his mom is deaf.. Then I felt bad.
hey this is Madison. you gave me your number last night and asked me to remind you that you didn't fuck anyone. you okay?
When are you going to accept the fact he is gay?
Come on... He's just practicing.
Ok. That's acceptable.
He's a fucking asshole. Who gives good head. And seriously I have never seen someone less committed to hair color
I'm more worried that you thought licking a pole on Bourbon street would turn me on
my friend was passed out in the bathroom so I threw up in the coffee maker, not the pot the water reservoir that kind of drunk.
I admit it could have gone better but look at it this way, since I broke the urn you don't have to worry about spreading the ashes.
I slept naked last night on stolen pillows. I felt like a golden goddess.
You've discovered your super power: Your Vagina
Omg there's puke under my pillow. Clearly I puked and tried to hide it. From myself. \n
I'm going to blackout. I realize this
Randomize
