i'm eating jello out of a teacup with a fork. awesome?
So after THIS dui, I've decided to stop driving. Not drinking, just quit driving.
What do you say about some mid-afternoon anal?
She had a muffin-top while wearing a one piece bathing suit. Thats gotta break one of newton's laws or something
I don't care. I'll be that guy that eats cake in a car. Alone. With the doors locked.
you asked the janitor if you could ride his floor cleaner.
You've had your dick in my mouth. I don't think there are all that many barriers in our friendship at this point.
Not sure if this is better or worse than the discovery that bourbon and hot chocolate is a viable combo
Dave, I love you but you're barking up the wrong lesbian. You sir are the competition. You don't threesome with competition.
Yeah I figured you were blackout when you were Shakira dancing on the floor.
So... Really random... You know we only exist cause Dad misspelled 'perseverance', right?
I needed 3am water. Not 3am shots of rum.
he came during what was supposed to be the foreplay blowjob. there goes my evening.
Well she just asked a sorority girl if she should fuck her floor mate so it's basically like the blind leading the blind
I'm glad we smoked together,that was probs the biggest sibling bonding we will ever have.
Randomize
