so, totally just picked up a pack of red bull, and some magnum condoms and the old woman at the register's tone went from "hi blah how are you" to "oh....how YOU DOIN'?" she knew what was up
He wanted to take me out and said we could "go huntin in the woods."
I think I'm going to inject the gummy vitamins with vodka
I'm glad you're using your medical degree for some good for once
It was the gentlest way I could hit on a girl who just got hit by a car
idk if ive ever seen a picture of him on facebook with his pants on
He wants to call Lloyd's of London and have my mouth insured.
He asked if I wanted to "hang out"
A verb which here means "do lines off my dick"
If you can count on one hand the number of times you have actually, truly nearly died this month, then you are not really living yet.
wearing the bible to the ABC party, thought you'd appreciate that.
Can we discuss your tits for a sec? That melon patch sprung up over night
Hahahaha yep. You were picking up the credit card machine and singing to it in Spanish.
Ice cream and condoms, solid grocery store trip
All I have are vague memories of us eating ham?
How do I let my trainer know I'm only at the gym so I can get in more intense sex positions?
The cops asked Ben if he was drunk and he slurred "I'm man enough to admit that I am" with a southern draw
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