dude your cousin who was wearing the skirt wasn't wearing any underwear
gross she's a slut
yea she doesn't shave either
make any headway on the foot/dick situation?
There is no way when we get home that nothing will hapen
so i never found you. but i found vodka. so its kinda the same
I'm gonna have to fantasize about her dying just to get off.
How am I supposed to stop smoking pot when girl scout cookies are being sold.
I don't text first unless I'm hammered...so ya I text first a lot
You know it's been a while when you're having to resort to positive conditioning to get women
The cougar has a calendar on her wall of when she can give topless handjobs again. I pity her husband.
Some girl just walked passed me, said "fuck yeah!" and is now crawling up the stairs
I will forever remember this as The Great Jalepeno Cock Burn of 2014.
Some how my underwear was hanging from the antlers of a antelope head on the wall of the hotel........
I am so disappointed that he didn't steal a Christmas tree last night.
I had a dream involving the worlds smallest pony, an asphalt volcano, and jimi hendrix. Never smoking 3 bowls before bed again
I'm just happy stripping was the reason you fractured your hand
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