And then she started grabbing onto random guys legs, asking their names, and if they wanted to be friends... Haha, I love when the girls my ex's are dating are total drunken whores.
yeah, and then after the convo was clearly over, my dad decides to scream "SIZE MATTERS" just to make things even more uncomfortable.
I just can't bring boyfriends home.
we just pregamed for our presentation... gotta love group bonding
Some drunk couple just made out on the sidewalk and it reminded me some sweet moments we have shared...
I'm just gonna go nail your roommate after we break up anyway.
He filled our room with little plastic cups of beer so the only way I could get out was by drinking them all.
Everything tastes like hotdogs and shame.
Do not buy whiskey under any circumstances. There should be a UN sanctioned buffer zone between me and Seagrams.
This is God's way of telling me He loves me and wants me to be a cocktease.
Go forth my daughter and give blue balls to all who may gaze upon your tits.
And now you understand the importance of Saturday naps.
Because you stay up all night having sex and eating sushi?
We fired a shoe out of a medieval cannon. I know not where we got either one.
Today was brought to you by the letter B for beer and bourbon and the number fuck you I'm meant to be studying not hungover
I'm drunk doing an ab workout. I can only hope I make it to bed tonight.
He told me that I should keep my socks on next time because he read somewhere that it'll help me orgasm...
I fished a Couples Masturbation DVD out of somebody’s trash and kept it. That’s how desperate I am.
Randomize
