Dude I just heard my boss singing from the bathroom "I love making poop"
It's a Westpoint/Army thing, we talk about Miley Cyrus a lot
Why?
Because when is jailbait ever not funny? Answer: Never
he doesn't care that i have a boyfriend so why should i?
logic in its finest
we drove through mcdonalds and ordered everything on the dollar menu. We told the workers that were making Super Size Me 2, drove away without paying and told them to bill our producer.
The saltiness of my tears mix perfectly with the tequila.
Transgendered man at work dawning a slutty batman costume. I hate Halloween
Apperanlty I was screaming "It's hard to swim with a broken ankle sir" and then tackled the lifeguard. The joys of blackouts
The walk home from the bar is FAR more shameful in daylight.
My kids are NEVER playing in the park more than 2 feet away from me until they are capable of punching an eagle.
That moment when your fucking in an airport bathroom and forget to lock the door. That poor man...scarred forever...
Best part of leaving the university? Interns are as hot as my former students, not legally off limits, and they will do anything for a full time job.
Well i would have gone to the bar but Satan decided to hold his rituals in my uterus.
I just found a To Do list on the table, written by me last night, that just says "1. Go downstairs. 2. Get Pickles. 3. Laptop"
We have had more Sex in the past 48 hours then we have in the past 3 months. I think it was from me dressing up as Darth Vader.
nothing like waking up to a voice mail saying your std test came back negative
Randomize
