I just had to have my mom look at my penis to figure out what it was. How do you think my day is going?
You put your red cup in a chain link fence and kept telling me you could use it as a telescope
he just started chanting dark meat! dark meat! out of no where.
The guy in the next stall screamed courtesy flush and then puked. Bless you Vegas
I feel like my teeth are sweating.
Freshman ate returning to campus. Let Operation Slut Storm commence.
I feel like I can hear facebook. What did we smoke?
On that note if you see a hobo smiling with a pack of cigarettes and an AMP energy drink, that was my good deed for the day
as soon as I stop standing here with one leg up on my bathroom counter admiring my balls, I'm going to go tan. and then you may come over.
I blew him while he was standing up and he drooled on my head
Doing the walk of shame and bringing my dad a newspaper en route. Favourite daughter status confirmed.
Naw but when she was in the bathroom I threw the condom out the window and I'm pretty sure it hit some girl
Somehow I became in charge of getting my mother laid? This can't be my life? Lol
A to Z: fucking your way through the alphabet
It'll be a kids book
Nope. I'm an adult now. I can successfully avoid to vomit in defiance of the porcelain god\n
Randomize
