I am so gay it hurts my loins. Going to see She's Just Not That Into You... again. Ohhh my goodness.
I showed him my bush... on skype.
It was like doing yoga with his dick in me
so when I got there he was dressed as jesus in a recliner drinking whiskey out of the bottle watching spanish porn. Then kept shouting dont judge me or ill judge you. we didn't even go to a halloween party.
I just stepped on my own foot and apologized to my shoe... THAT high.
So from the residue on my balls I think it was mashed potatoes she had in her mouth
I thought that u needed a break due the fact that your nipples were bleeding
Also can you rate on a scale of zero to jesus restraining order christ how creepy it is that he found a porn star that looks like me and has watched all the porn that she's been in
Just skate-of-shamed, shirtless, with a bucket or margaritas. Good luck beating that one.
Nice. Ask if they watched saved by the bell. yes=legal. No=jailbait
I'm starting to notice a direct correlation between blackouts and broken bones...
Booze, boobs, blunts and batman. dude, I'm livin' the life.
I couldnt face her after that wonderful, terrible blowjob. Made a rope out of towels and climbed out her bathroom window.
So today the police came to my dorm to look for weed, i didn't have any in the room, so i let them in. they apologized for any inconvenience and then left after finding nothing. then i realized i was wearing gauges with weed leaves on them lol
You were arrested in a tiara again... maybe you shouldn’t wear one.
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