So we were in the middle of hooking up when he stopped me. I thought he was having a moral dilemma about the whole having a girlfriend thing. But no. He got down on all fours, butt naked, and started throwing up and farting simultaneously. I took it as my cue to leave.
Don't judge me. Haven't eaten all day so I'm in my room sticking my finger in peanut butter, then jam, then my mouth.
We were drinking cognac with TAB. I felt like trailer park royalty.
I just remember standing in the shower with you eating chips.
I woke up with a flask of whiskey and a mason jar full of sausage in my tux jacket. south georgia is where i belong
Just suggested things for my dad to get my mom for Christmas in terms of "yeah you'll get laid."
we smoked out of your homemade aunt jamima bong
he attacked my vagina with the force of a thousand suns
And then I fed you egg rolls in bed as you were screaming I'm moving out
You blacked out at 9:30 and insisted on sleeping in the hallway after you chugged an entire pitcher of beer. I guess the Jell-O shots were stronger than we thought...
idk i was trying to watch Fuller House and you got up out of a dead sleep, just in your boxers, said "no more Dave Coulier" and walked out to the living room and unplugged the router
We broke my graduation cords last night when we used them to tie each other up during sex last night
do you think mom is upset that i left with the stripper from her bachelorette party last night?
I guess daylight savings isn't a holiday we need to celebrate for three days...
the voting booth dude cock blocked me or she woulda totally blown me in the voting booth.
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