Cops are here now. U need to come back. Ur not under arrest. But u need to apologize to the woman for what you did to her cat.
and i think we compared dick sizes, then high fived...
so this chick screams out the name doug is bed..not to later do i find out doug is her vibrator
hello competition
you just kept saying 'take out my tanks' and tell the cab driver to go slower, i have no idea what you were talking about but i'm glad you had fun.
the problem with having sex for lunch when its 98 degrees outside is that I can't tell if its sweat or semen running down my leg as I walk back in the office
Oh, and she's that dumb bitch that goes out in public in full make up and sweats with uggs. I hope she falls face first in a bowl of queso and drowns
well after pounding on the ceiling for 5 mins i just went up there to tell them to shut up.. 2 hours later i'm naked, high, lying on their kitchen floor. it escalated so quickly
My bathing suit kept falling whenever I went under a wave and this kid caught on and kept checking them out so I told him nothing comes free $5 a boob
.As long as you're some how patriotic with your sexual escapades, I can support it.
his daughter has his phone and goesss ohhh boobies and shows me a picture of my own tits...
My uterus is doing all sorts of karate moves to break free of my body.
You can't just say you're dying of terminal cancer everytime they try to card you
Woke up with an e-cig stuck in my asshole. Explain.
The guy I hooked up with two weeks ago just friended me on Venmo, I honestly won't be mad if he pays me for the sex
He was wearing a diaper to the party. I've never felt like such a creep in my life.
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