I don't know what the fuck is in the water in New Hampshire, but these dicks are HUGE.
Having a race with the dryer. Seeing who can get drunk/dry clothes faster.
I have the slightest memory of swinging a bag full of condoms over my head...
Ohhh,that's true. Babies are only fun when you're high. Otherwise, they're the worst kind of people.
That would be a dream come true. Seriously, he's like my mount everest, my life's ambition is to climb him.
I was busy. But now I'm about to consume alcohol and chicken. We shall see where this takes us. Maybe to the moon, maybe to the floor. I have no idea.
If he can forgive your lousy blowjobs, you can ignore his terrible driving.
Opening beer with my teeth is getting easier the drunker I become.
It turns out my teeth are bleeding.
Oh great. I guess I'm second on that list now that we've confirmed she's not a lesbian AND that was her sister.
I'm terrified that I'm going to have a baby with a guy who posts snapchat stories while ignoring my texts
I got hella high today and freaked out about life and interest rates
Your grandma found me sleeping in my car this morning, and she wanted me to tell you she was going to church... Also, last night was amazing.
we were all too drunk to realize that the cat wasnt yours
i was so proud for not passing out at the same time as usual. i screamed that i had a "new personal best!" then some jackass explained daylight savings.
Etiquette question... How do you tell your mother that her nipple is out in her fb profile picture?
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