just did a line in a complete hula outfit off a chick in a devil costume. do you think hell will be this good?
i love marijuana more then i could love a human baby.
Hookers taste better with whip cream
Maybe we ought to get some pennicillin too
Fair enough
So basically our separate showers turned into one shower, to save water, which turned into a bath, which turned into sex on the bed, which turned into drinking beer in the bed, and thats what the stain is from... bud light. sorry.
Did I ever tell u about how my buddy fucked peter coors's daughter and made a tshirt that said I TAPPED THE ROCKIES with her picture on it?
im pretty sure this vending machine only exists when im drunk
I found a horn on the street but it's okay I disinfected it with vodka
exactly. I want him to have to live with the fact that he fucked me. I want him to look me in the eye and say "you were a drunken mistake".
I just watch that 70s show all day and blaze whenever they do. It's nice being part of the circle
I gotta say, I do way better with the ladies than I do the men. So if it turns out being gay is a choice, then I'm going to go ahead and choose it.
He took my necklace off while we were 69ing. His tongue never stopped moving either. Take that, guys who can't figure out how bras work.
I am the oldest one here and I STILL feel like I need an adult. help.
I think everyone at the office can tell I'm dehydrated
you mean still drunk
I've heard it both ways
He sent me a picture of his cock that seemed to indicate that we were still on good terms.
I just got dumped by my fuck buddy. Now I have to have sex with my husband.
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