I am really glad that on the inside of a card from your grandparents you have transcribed the rules for circle of death
Ive either hit rock bottom or become my own hero.
No, drunk sperm still make babies.
Just had another dream about being on Real Chance of Love. I think it's a sign.
His dick was as big as my arm. Giving him a handjob was like giving someone an Indian sunburn.
level of my singleness - just ate a whole pizza topless in bed.
She's locked herself in the bathroom with a tub of icecream and she's watching my little pony on her phone. We know it cause she sings with them.
You sir are most definitely in. Better get your penis an umbrella as that bad boy is gonna get soakkkkkkeddddd.
Caught in the act of lying. Lipstick literally all over his dick. He tried to make some story about darkwing duck or some shit but failed to realize he is a complete moron.
I need to stop getting picked up at 3 am by my friends parents. This is the second time this week. I'm a grown man.
I don't want random pictures of your morning wood. It's like, what a glorious morning oh a penis.
You know if we weren't hooking up I think we'd actually be friends
Oh my god the guy at DQ just gave me the number 69 and winked at me
He pulled out the guitar, sat in tub, and took requests while she puked her brains out in the toilet. I think he loves her.
Its because she suspects I'm a frequent drug user, which I am, but I am going to make her feel like she is crazy for believing it.
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