apparentely "Beer Pong Champ" is not a profession, no wonder they havent called me back......
told ya
we were like drunken butterflies among sober caterpillars,
hows that letter of apology to the waitress at waffle house coming?
Your mom can still drink beer standing on her head! Talk to you tomorrow :)
Mom wtf!?
any interest in drunk sledding later? if not, any interest in driving me to the hospital later?
In case this wasn't clear when i said being his wingman was "hopeless", his date walked out on him when he poured a beer on his head trying to shotgun it
It's a gateway drink.... Starts with wine... Then I wake up in my car with mascara on my arms covered in french fries...
we went to the bar with our boss and you tried to play a song from the atm machine
Agreed. That's like a marriage. For better or worse, till death do us part. I will hold your head over a toilet
There is not greater feeling than lying to your boss and leaving work to shit in the comfort of your own home
Sorry I invoked the "everyones getting smacked including myself policy last night"
You have 4 bottles of kahlua in ur drawers but no sox
A relationship is waiting for him to fall asleep so you can cum (finally!) while watching porn
He passed out before we could have sex. I had no choice but to use his boner to hold my onion rings.
Lunch?
Massage?
Spanking with handcuffs?
Randomize
