Now that I've come to graduate college. I realized the only discernible skill I learned was how to roll a joint properly. go me.
Well thats $24,000 well spent.
The old woman next to me on the el smells like cupcakes...but she doesn't taste like cupcakes
I just did the classiest thing ever.
last time you said that you got chlamydia.
Being the only sober one.. I had to feed you guys doritos. You kept licking my fingers.
I'm sneaking you alcohol into a hospital. This either says love or "we have a problem"
Just took last nights make up off with a sock. That hungover.
We shaved off his eyebrows I'm pretty sure his fiance will be thrilled at the wedding
But you're the one who should be jamming foreign objects into my vaj instead of an old weird lady. I mean, it is your birthday....
i found waldo and immediately set him to work eating me out. please have more out of season costume parties.
I feel like my vagina was punched by chuck Norris, a Brazilian chuck Norris.
Oh like it's the first time I've had a bowl of wine
After you finished the $300 bottle of wine you just started crying about how if Mulder and Scully didn't invite you to join the x-files your life would be meaningless because you "love that weird shit"
Ugh. My life is a never ending cycle of bad decisions and taquitos.
I made a powerpoint to trip to.
you are so studious.
I love you so much and not just because your dick is perfect
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