apparently it's not kosher to shit in a litter box when there's a line for the bathroom
he had to fake a sneeze attack to hide the fact he came in 15 seconds?!
so its atleast an 8 for creativity.
I just found a receipt from ace where I bought 1 lrg plastic funnel, 2ft of 1" plastic tubing, and a 48" toboggan sled. Thank you cashier #552 for letting that poor life decision happen.
you were drinking a pitcher of what you called "16 loko" and making everybody guess what the secret ingredient was
Got some good news and bad news about the hayride this weekend.
The good news is its still on, the bad news is we don't have any hay. The best news, if you drink enough you won't give a fuck that its just a trailer.
He smells so good today
Seriously, back away from the sexual harrasment suit.
Def just hooked up with my brother's senior prom date in his bed. Does that make me the worst brother ever?
Based off of the soaking wet clothes/towels/rugs, Eiffel Tower statue and monkey in the bathtub, I'm going to assume drunk me took a bath.
Are you really alive right now?
I feel like we should build an island for girls that have committed atrocious numbers of unforgivable sins. We'll call it 'whore island' after the anchorman fashion.
Just streaked campus for a bottle of patron...maybe you're right...I might have a drinking problem...
Nothing like sitting at your midterm pissed at yourself because you put your graphing calculator batteries in your vibrator and forgot to put them back in before the exam 😑
I think i should either cut my hair or buy a dildo.
You stared at a Swedish dude for like 5 minutes then asked him "shouldn't you be yelling at dragons"
I want to find him again. His Corona tank top and I were made for each other.
There's a fuckload of syrup all over the floor.
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