i only hope i can top last weeks sext session
you used to get mad at me for mentioning 'unprotected sex' and happenings in my bed
well yeah, but then i realized the wisdom of your ways.
no more everclear, i just stood next to the toilet and peed my pants. then went back to the party soaking wet.
sorry to break it to you, but he's definitely fucking that other girl now...
I wish I still at least had the bruises on my ass to remember him by.
I'LL COME GET YOU. GOTTA FIND A SUIT THAT COVERS TIT BRUISES FIRST.
in honor of breaking bad starting soon, i am now banging a walter white lookalike. viva heisenberg!
It was big, black, and had a smiley face tattooed on it. It was the perfect penis.
It's still 8am.
Yeah, but its wine drunk. WITH A DOCTOR. THAT MAKES MY MORNING CLASSY.
If you ever feel goofy just think of the fact that I just shaved the batman symbol into my pubes
I like that you use a Disney movie to describe the starting of our BDSM relationship, lmao
She told me she loves wine, but hates the mud butt the next day. Dude, way to much info on a second date.
One day, I might be old and married wishing I could bang everyone... and that'll be a problem. So I feel in my heart it's something I need to do.
I’m pretty sure I have teeth marks on my neck
This girl was in the river screaming that someone didn't love her anymore...that's when the guy in a kilt claimed her...
How ironic... opening your legs for closure.
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