Is it because I queefed?
So I'm trying to figure out if starting the day running around the quad in a black t-shirt and bikini w/ a drawn on mustache is a good way to start the day...
it wasnt a pity fuck per say. i wasnt attracted to her, but still thought 'that looks like a fun ride'
Im going to be coked out with hello kitty fire arms. Valentines day can suck my dick
Just realized i left my bra at his house. WHY do i suck at one night stands?!
Can't tell if its the LSD or if that demon man just stared at my penis. Cleveland is a weird place. All true stories.
its not like i called off work either time for the purpose of tripping, it was more like well, i have nothing to do now today, there is acid and im only human.. but twice
Aaand now my client contact has seen your boobs.
Funny how the post-sex UTI lasted longer than the entire relationship.
A surplus of mistakes were made and I don't know what 89% of them were.
The hot streak continues..if life was NBA jams i would be "on fire" right now
so, in conclusion, I think his gf found out about the booty pics
i woke up between my boyfriend and his sister and i don't know if we fucked or cried together
Fuck your fuckin pumpkin spice. You and your subtle differences frighten and disgust me.
Soon to be ex is nowhere to be found. Her attorney/new BF just showed up. 30 minutes late looking hungover. Pretty sure I'm getting the kids AND the house!
Randomize
