Is it weird that I have contacts who i've classified as DO NOT ANSWER?
Lol no its called college
I couldnt find her vag and just started laughing uncontrollably. She was not pleased. Neither was i.
All I know is it had something to do with a plunger and tuna salad. I'm done. I'm quitting my job.
There is no excuse for watching a Jesse McCartney movie.
hey got me stoned for the first time when i was 14. there is no bond stronger
He taught me how to drive a stick by using his dick. He even made the whurrrr noise so I knew when to change gears.
four guys that i have slept with have come into my job today. FOUR. i feel like it's like bring your sex partners to work day.
I wouldn't fuck her. Looks like her vagina smells like a seaside orgy.
Itd be like fucking a waterbed thats been locked in a barn for two years.
Where in the FUCK do you get your analogies
Screw disneyland. This military base is the happiest place on earth. Even unnatractive dudes are completely fuckable in those uniforms, im never leaving
Why do I have the 4 of hearts in my bra?
Haha we got sick of drinking on 4 is for whores so we stole the cards...I woke up with three of them in mine
drunken problem solving at its finest
We watched Purple Rain and then proceeded to have sex while listening to the album. If that's not exactly how Prince would want people to honor him, I don't know what is
Help I accidentally unlocked this guy's tragic backstory and I need a rewind button!
Legal advice please. Can you sue someone for jerking off to photos of you?
I just puked on the sidewalk. At 11am. Thought you'd like to know.
Just found out I lit my hair on fire last night.
Randomize
