She told me she couldnt give me head last night because she was running out of listerine
she just made a shot glass out of magazine paper. I love her.
her parents were awake and in the next room. i think i deserve a big fucking medal for that orgasm.
What was your penis's nickname in high school? Also, what was it's theme song?
I just slow jerked to the titanic theme song, i dont think theres enough alcohol in the state to get me over her tonight
how much ball-pain constitutes an emergency?
They have some sort of agreement that they can sleep with other people if it helps then achieve their goal, or something like that
How awkward
Yeah it's pretty fucked up
He had to put the child locks on the windows so you would stop screaming at random boys
We hooked up for a while and on his way out he high fived me and said "stay weird"
When you glanced over and and mouthed "I'll take the fat chick" I knew it was going to be an epic Sunday night.
As I was balls deep, she moaned "i can't wait to see what how hot our daughter will be". Instant de-boner
May he have a McRib induced stroke and lose the feeling in his tastebuds.
we're spending all day in bed drinking spiked eggnog and fucking
I like your optimism Chelsea but I'm not about getting my salad tossed
Came up to an intersection and someone was blasting My Chemical Romance at like 9 AM. They're DEFINITELY having a good day
Randomize
