What would you say if someone told you they liked your lips?
Which ones?
U Should have said " it's ok baby most girls Sh*t when I do that.
You know when its a good night when you have to be reminded IHOP is a family establishment.
You got my ass fired just for knowing you
thanks for the bacon
She brought up feelings... her days are numbered
But it was well worth it to see a man fly through the air in a beaver costume...
which guy lost his keys in my bed this weekend?
I just blew my weed a kiss
yeah, you could tell they werent used to the strange things that i say. they were all outright shocked when i told one guy i hoped someone kidnapped him and stretched his dickhole over a fire hydrant
All I've been thinking about for the past 12 hours is sex and SEAWORLD
Sware then you fell into me doing a Tarzan swing thing and my margherita spilled and shattered all over this guy and sice you were on the ground you tried to pull it off by twerking on the floor lmfao
I want to be "performing a disservice to society by actually wearing clothes in public" hot.
PS: bike ride of shame at 7am includes riding by kids waiting for the school bus #classy
I'm a full-grown woman and thusly I expect my sphincters to behave themselves.
You know that voice that tells you to do something spontaneous after 1am? Don't listen to it.
It's not my fault I make her feel like a Taylor Swift album
Randomize
