How dare you send me a picture after midnight that isn't porn. You know the rules.
She was having a seizure right in front of you, and you asked, "So there's no more donuts?"
The cab driver told me he hopes I look up to him as a father figure. Then he asked if I wanted him to take me to the hospital
Well, it's hard to say. Last night he puked a perfect circle around him on the floor, and then sat in it insisting it would protect him from the smoke monster. He's was still there last time I checked.
Update: I only have one shoe. The other one now belongs to the gods of jello-wrestling. May it rest in peace.
Today is leap day..... If that's not an excuse to blackout all day I don't know what is
So half of us were already throwing up outside when the Ukrainians ask us if we're ready to start partying yet. I love this country.
I mean there is a rehab there so its gotta be a good time
but it was less of a make out and more of a goodnight kiss as a "thanks for giving our drunk asses a ride home and sorry we called your bar the worst bar in LA"
There's a whistle here and I just want to play my whistle song on it.
She's licking the whiskey out of the carpet. I think we may be soulmates.
It's a little hazey but I think I tried to request Nelly last night. There was no dj. Not sure who I was talking to
I'm just going to take a nap and hope I wake up more attractive.
Florida is balancing how much this place sucks with how many vodkas you can have to cope in order to still be allowed on the plane to leave
How did the surgery go?
My face feels like a marshmallow.
Randomize
