Coffee is gods way of saying go ahead, get absolutly trashed on weeknights, I got your back
God you better not be texting me after just having sex with someone from craigslist
He started telling people I was Stephen Hawking's son. When that didnt fly he switched to Tony Romo's cousin
there was a trail of blood coming out of one of the bathroom stalls. thought of you
The nursing school interview showed me a picture of my passed out during your party. They asked if this was a frquent thing. I told them you drugged me.
I mass texted 4 of you for a booty call. Please reply all when responding so only one of you shows up. Last one is a rotten egg.
I'm about to sell my hamster for weed money I'll call you in a few
Just showered now I smell like berries instead of shame
my neighbors having band practice on sunday morning is a message from the universe that I should stop drinking
I do not mind being torn from the first touches of sleep to see a man who looks like that
His chest is so hairy i want to pet it with my nipples.
you bit my nipple really hard and then looked at me and said 'i feel responsible for the state of your nipples'
I woke up naked with a Jason mask on and a fat lip. What happened last night?
Taking out my recycling and 90% of it is alcohol and cat food. I am judging myself.
Why are we so out going and care free I can't wait for maturity to kick in so we stop having 700 dollar bar tabs
Randomize
