She is in my trunk
This house was built for laser tag.
I don't know how, but he made a bong out of a hamster wheel. To say I am impressed is an understatement.
Its a bummer that corporate america doesn't believe in $2 u call its on a Sunday night
Chasing 100 proof soco w water from the tap at 4 pm, it's gonna one of those kinda Thursdays...
Having a dry hump session to Alvin and the chipmunks surprisingly didn't kill the mood. He's that good.
I think my sister is getting tired of me breaking into her house so I can sleep with random girls when shes not there
the coastal evacuation route ends at my vagina so you can just skip the bullshit and come over
Finals week...the biggest cock block since your brother threatened me with a beer bottle at the bar.
how are you shocked you fucked her? sure shes hot, but she also washed your beerpong balls in her mouth..... you should probably get tested.
I feel like I grabbed someones dick last night, & if I didn't I'll be disappointed in myself
He was "hot guy in the dark". One of us had to sleep with him. I took the bullet you're welcome.
I have poison ivy on my dick
WHAT
Look, he's a hot korean guy with a motorcycle and a great ass. I'm gonna do head-titingly kinky shit with him.
Dad danced on top of the bar with me last night. And has a video of me doing a beer bong.
Randomize
