I haven't gotten laid in forever. I'm obsessed. I imagine I this is how Ethopians feel about food.
i wish i was a boy too so i knew what a blow job felt like
i am pretty sure she ate my hamster last night. i am thinking this because she left me a note that says she ate my hamster and my hamster is no longer in its hamster cage.
Did you get my bra back of the bartender?
I seriously think we need to revision your idea of 'keeping a low profile'
Fucking finally I'm about to die from sobriety over here
Idk. I'm naked in front of the computer eating ribs. All is right with the world.
That's so nerdy and hot at the same time.
He sent me a recycled dick pic! He could at least use one without sunlight in it, considering it's 10pm
You know what would make the espn body photos even better? If anyone knew who any of those fucking athletes were. That, and maybe not feature Gary Player.
not even kidding I just received the single most greatest head I have ever had.. It was unreal. It was like stick my dick into a silk bag of puppy ears.
Yo, I totally had forgotten you were CA. Thank you for making my life easier with modern medicine.
I've talked to too many cops in one week and I haven't even committed any crimes. I hate the suburbs
he walked off and puked in the sand. then he made a sand castle over it so that "it wouldn't upset the kids"
Am i obligated to tell my sister her girlfriend was my one night stand three months ago?
I aimed for bossy but it came out slutty
Forget Covid themed costumes. I need one that attracts a quality penis
preferably one with a six figure job and a boat
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