apparentely "Beer Pong Champ" is not a profession, no wonder they havent called me back......
told ya
i just fell asleep at my computer and i woke up and in the google bar it said delicious foods to eat
we've been at disney 20 seconds and she already got the cops called over
THERE IS PRACTICALLY A BEER FUCKING WATERFALL
I feel like these arent even my fingers anymore
And I don't know if this is really ESP, or just a crazy feeling, but I'm pretty sure he has an std. Or at least a cold.
just woke up and currently drinking copious amounts of eggnog straight from the carton to replenish the electrolytes lost last night
I panicked i brought burritos. Funeral burritos
She's in labor and I'm doing shots. Whose the real winner here?
Yeah, I probably need some combination of electric shock, massive quantities of LSD, and enough couch time time to make Woody Allen say "Enough".
I was sitting here smiling wondering why i'm so fucking happy at work. cookie has kicked in
I don't remember what you did, but I DO remember that i'm supposed to hate you for it.
Guy just walked into the bathroom with only socks on and took a 5second shit. It is taking me longer to type this than for him to shit, wash hands, and leave the bathroom. WTF? Still wondering why he only had socks on.
I AM OFFICIALLY LICENSED TO BE A LESBIAN
are you comparing glasses to pregnancy
Randomize
