Did I ever tell you that the first person i made out with cried?
I think id rather eat ped egg shavings.
When you want to head down the cleveland on Sunday?
What time do the bars open? I dont want to remember how bad theyre gonna lose
$3 wine plus diet sprite does not make good champagne.
does taste better than andre tho
happy find a boyfriend by next Valentines Day. Its like a new years resolution but depressing
im currently assessing the tequila situation in preparation of your arrival
The last time I thought I had a UTI, I ended up having herpes. Sooo.. This time in preparing myself for cancer or death.
Who am I sleeping next to in your bed? Where are you? Also when are you coming home... I need coffee.
We need to do something soon. I need like 4,000 beers and a cigarette.
The only flat surface we had was a cheez it box so we snorted the blow off of that. Rock bottom really isn't that bad.
yeah well, its not like my astrogynecology class is teaching me what i need to know
im almost 90% sure there is no such thing as astrogynecology.
Welp, I've officially cried in every Chipotle bathroom in the city. Correlation or causation?
I've never said "lesbians" so many times in a short response answer
I mean, don't most people have like a two week grace period where it's okay to ditch new friends?
she squeaked mid orgaism. I laughed she cried
Randomize
