ohhh no, absolutely not. i am waaayyy too superstitious to have sex with the self-proclaimed "baby-maker" on father's day...
as soon as I walked into work this morning, my boss called me out on my hangover, patted me on the back and said I'm getting time an a half for even showing up. Did I really look that bad this morning?
youre just mad i got the high score on the breathalyzer
It's confirmed. We did xmas carol the grocery store across the street from his building at 2:30am... Only the staff was there.
i woke up hungover wearing my gym shorts and the condom from last night. Wine bar thursdays rule.
I sat on the ground outside wawa chain smoking and telling two strangers about my sex life. I also accepted Rick James Bitch and Celine Dion as their names.
Lesson learned. Kayak oars are not golf clubs....check
When I woke up everyone at the party was in their underwear. Only you guys were playing strip pong.
Yes, we all have the power to convince a large amount of people to take their clothes off
Can you bring home bongs? Like all the bongs. I need bongs
I didn't think four grown drunk men could cuddle on a twin size bed, but we found a way.
I love you too! Remember NO alcohol or weed at my residence because of legal ramifications.
I went on an adventure and now we have more food.
Well, really we just have fire sauce and cookies. But they're edible.
You used a fucking bud light like as lube last night. I'd get a UTI test like stat.
I think I'm dead. Also I think I stole $20 from a stripper.
You did. Then gave it to me.
Yea and there’s destruction when we’re together, mostly of our livers but W/e
Randomize
