wrigley field is MILF paradise
No, I'm talking to this Chinese girl. Can't understand a word she's saying, but i think i caught the word vagina a few times.
You're the only person with a favorite bar in Disneyworld
i just recognized the girl sitting across from me from a lesbian porno... should i ask for an autograph?
Legit screaming match in this bar over the differences between cupcakes and muffins.
You kept hugging the big bouncer & feeling the other ones beard
I will give you all my nachos to make this happen
he told me he was a Boston Bruins fan so I took his hat into the bathroom and peed in it...I've never been a prouder Ranger fan
So coach him. No guy wants to admit being unsure of something in bed. It's a man-law or something.
He burnt his arm on the grill, then turned around and started blaming it on the burger buns...I think it's safe to say he's drunk.
After my date left I rallied and took the Asian girl home. Flexibility my friend.
Way to go. Now you have no beer and I have a cold tit.
Considering we're about to fuck, I really need your girlfriend to stop liking all my Facebook posts.
So I told him "To answer your question yes I am naked making pizza pops in your kitchen"
Its safe now. But... Nobody should sleep on my bed tonight.
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