You're so nebulous sometimes
And just as he was about to come, he screamed "Oh Christy!!"
What's wrong with that? Your name IS christy.
He then said, "Oh shit, sorry Julie."
only 75% of american men are circumcised...i guess this was bound to happen to me someday.
I think she must be bulimic. I mean, every time I see her I know i want to throw up.
I woke up alone at my apt. On the floor with the door wide open, but still. Success.
I'd say it's a shame and a disservice to the world that we can't stay drunken shitshows to infinity
He asked me "did you used to go to church" while we were having sex.
well the night couldnt get much worse after she peed all over herself and the sidewalk.
The cabbie told me fat girls shouldn't wear tight clothes, and that he feels bad for the guys that have to be underneath them, especially because their positions are "very limited" and proceeded to ask me if I had a trash can and if I could throw something away for him. Don't worry though, he promised it wasn't anything "bad". He then handed me a tied up grocery bag with a bunch of wadded up Kleenex that weighed about 3 pounds. To answer your question, yes I made it home. Fml
i know i should keep better track of the things that i put in your vagina but i've put so many things in there it's hard to keep track
Yepp, I had to be the one to explain that the girl who was slapping people in the face with a dildo was my drunk girlfriend.
god it feels good to gold a bottle of opiates again.
I think that typo was actually more appropriate than what you intended.
I know now that the cab driver can get me a 10 dollar blow job. I'm practically a local.
I can still be you friend and be there for you. And sometimes get drunk and fuck you.
whose shirt was i wearing?
his little sister's
what was she wearing
a feather boa and 6 inch heels
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