whoever gets the blood i just donated is getting a shit ton of free thc
Dude feel your hair right now it feels so weird like pasta
Dude, at this rate we're going to get arrested a second time tonight.
He kept saying it was because he was allergic to the chicken. Then he threw up on my mom.
If you invite me to a bar tonight my liver will kick you in the testicles
Exotic beer tasting at my apt right now and by that I mean I bought random beer and I'm drinking it on my balcony
It is completely possible to eat beef jerky sexually.
Dude it's SB. It's a proven fact that all you need to survive on is beer, weed, chips and maybe some amphetamines
IT ISN'T. I'M A LITTLE HIGH.
YOU'RE ALWAYS A LITTLE HIGH.
NO. IT'S RARE THAT I'M A LITTLE HIGH. I'M ALWAYS HIGH AS FUCK. THERE'S A DIFFERENCE.
I can't name a single part of my body that isn't sore. Who says break up sex is bad sex?
Trying to ignore the fact that a kid I hooked up with twice just gave me spare keys to his house ... and car.
Well you were already wet from trying to drink straight from the faucet, so I just put you in the bathtub with a pillow and called it a night
Grindr hookup awareness: always make sure that you agree to blow one person and they aren't bringing a Friend/boyfriend. Shits weird when you're sober.
The first thing we did this morning was see if we could see her barf in the prking lot from the roof. We could. It was in 5 spaces.
you made me suck your tit in the car and kept saying "good boy. I love you so much. good boy."
Randomize