Ooooh. That's not a mole. Uncomfortable.
I had to use the resin knife to take the staples out of my tax return forms. Tax returns and a search warrant?
Thanks for not waking me up before the firefighters chopped down my door
Almost just got kicked out of a bar because the locals spilled beer everywhere when we taught them to shotgun.
There's a fried egg and an empty bottle of reddiwhip in the parking lot. Did you have fun last night?
I remember all the people and all the acts I just have to match the person with the act
I sobered up in the middle of it, that I was hooking up with him in a rosemary bush. I woke up smelling like a pasta dish
Guess who just rode home in a cop car?! Your Fav flamingo
Its like bringing all that milkshake to the yard and I'm a diabetic and can't have any
WHY AM I CRAWLING IN OLDER MEN HOLY JESUS
It'll be a pair of asscheeks that light up when they're summoned.
Rebecca hasn't has this number in 3 months. Please tell all her friends to stop calling at 3 am. We are not interested in buying or selling drugs nor do we want to hook up with anyone. You all need to go to rehab.
So I just saw someone get shoved into a car trunk by your car.
I'm too depressed to drink my wine. That is what I would call a serious problem
If he doesn’t slap your ass with his drumsticks, then I don’t wanna hear about it.
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