How's tricks little girl?
Trix are for kids, old man.
That's what you get when you play shuffleboard drunk.
If its called oral, why is it so hard to talk?
i just saw someone crawling up the stairs to the dorm while screaming "i have the best vagina!"
He proposed that we "bone". I've completely given up on boys.
She just had to change the song on the radio cause I was tap dancing on her windshield
Judging by the fact that he asked me if i wanted to serenade him using cocaine and Taylor Swift I'd say I so have it in the bag.
I believe I can fly has to be one of the most inspirational songs of our time. Seriously R. Kelly nailed it
Then he went and peed on those teenagers.
The one time my sister did shrooms she thought she was thumbalina. I can't live my life that way
You made out with him a lot. Almost as much as you told everyone Paul was the zamboni guy.
Sometimes you've gotta crawl to stay concious
He cried & told me I reminded him off his mother. I don't want to talk about it. I want to drink about it.
Did you or did you not grab my boob while I was making out with the foreign kid?
I'm hungover and eating lunch at an elementary school. The children are barking. Litrealy barking, like dogs.
what the fuck happend anyway? How did it go from smoothies after work to blacking out?
Randomize
