im drinking this country out of the recession.
My hand turned me down
he wants to bone in the snuggie
idk how it happened. she made a very smooth transition from crying to blowing me
Please, do not let 'babydaddy' catch on as your petname for me.
Ironically her ferret's toys look like her sex toys.....this is a whole new level of kinky for me
I told the girl who was peeing in the garbage can she must have had a lot of upper body strength.
I don't know how I'm boarding the plane tomorrow. I have my car registration.
come onnn, where's your sense of adventure?!
I left it in that guy's dorm room.
He asked if he could pull one of my teeth "to remember me by"
nothing like going to the bathroom, running into the wall, thinking its a person and saying"its ok i just had the 4 beers" even the wall knew i was lying
He offered me a trade. He'll come sober to my parents 25th anniversary dinner if I let him tie me up for an hour.
Update. bondage is a lot harder than it looks.
If you don't fuck me hard, rough, and senseless the minute we're alone in your room, I'm returning you to the boyfriend store
I just saw a raccoon get launched out of a tree by another raccoon. They have turf wars...
where the fuck are you? she just tazed two people and we're tripping shrooms...successful first night in new apartment!
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