my love horoscope just told me to "say it in frosting" should i take this literally?? i think yes.
I've spent 9 hours vomitting in the fetal position... how did i stay like this for 9 months?
They are providing beer and having a margarita machine. This cannot be passed up.
This is so fucking sad. Netherlands isn't even a real country.
all i remember is screaming butter knifes are for pussies.
he turned the pretty ricky playlist on. its about to go down.
I no longer see him as a simple set of male genitalia attached to a very sexy body. The title "trophy fuck" seems wrong. Damn.
lol i'm looking through my photos and there's this giant section of just dudes wearing murses
They're making him take his shirt off cause they think he's the bouncer. We're in his backyard.
so she gave me back a bag of clothing, had some boxers in it...they werent mine.... well that sums up 5 years of my life
the quiet that you are hearing is a silent suggestion that you should go fuck yourself
Ok thats great. so just to recap: you fucked a billionare in his penthouse last night, and I had a glass of wine on the toilet.
Let's get drunk and take out your tonsils tonight
I have to sleep with him. We're too much alike. It's like clash of the titans, except instead of clashing, he's putting it in me.
Well hell, he's gotta sleep in the bed he's made. Multiple times. For multiple girls I'm sure.
Randomize
