Joe is a total sociopath, I'm going to hook up with him tonight
The guy in front of me in Sociology is definitely working on my farm in farmville. Never met him before. Do I thank him?
i think i have that disease where you wake up in strange places drunk.
Just so you know you don't have to worry about me picking up any guys tonight. The Hilton is hosting guests from the North American Gay Volleyball Association and the Comic Palooza
Will you push me around in a wheel chair, introduce me to people, and say nothing as I get up and walk away?
Ok! I picked up an anti-celebratory bottle of champagne on the way to dinner for her going to rehab. That's how I feel about this...
What an age we live in that I can try to pick up a guy by using my phone while I'm taking a shit at work.
Just made out with a girl I dated in high school, and she told me her girlfriend likes me. I like where this is going.
Well u missed Autumn's newly 21 yrs old sister flashing her tits and standing on the bar last night.
Cute boy and deffffff wearing a HS shirt. I am getting too old to be inaccurate.
CAN I EVER JUST MAKE OUT EITH SOMEONE AND NOT GET FRIEND REQUESTED BY THEM THE NEXT DAY.
I thought I was heading girls talk. It was the toilet. Like put my ear to it
He said that he doesn't like skittles. This relationship is over an it hasn't even started yet.
I'm pretty sure I lit a prostitute's cigarette while sharing a pizza with a homeless guy last night
I will consider today a failure if my nipple isn't bitten at least 😂
Oh is THAT how we're gonna play mini golf
Randomize
