Cruel joke of nature. Hair on head runs from face, and hides on various parts of body. Aging sucks.
I'm sending you this that that when you wake up and see the girl sleeping next to you, you know who to thank
dizzyuy bat. 3.453 lkos. hoit sx, now im single. blackouteed
I figured, if I'm going to wear a gold cape its pretty safe to assume I'll be blacking out as well.
At what point did we decide It was a good idea t have a wheelbarrow race in the parking lot?
He came to the party late, didn't bring tacos, and then asked what shennanigans we were getting into. I swear I will never fuck another hipster.
I came so hard just now that I think I may have regenerated.
my longitudinal study of the long term effects of sloth and alchol-intake is nearly complete.
so you are graduating this semester.
While all the other girls were trying to out skut the next, Cameron was just doing cartwheels around the bar. I think she's the only one who got laid.
Apparently after awhile self preservation trumps libido. This is new news to me.
So the bartender tried kicking me out but i screamed im an RA you cant kick me out
Life Lesson #1 of 2013: double-fisting shower beers and shaving my bikini line should be reserved for two different showers.
Whatever you have to do, STALL THEM. Your toothbrush is in the kitchen, my pants are on the balcony, and I don't have eyebrows.
I'm high on the exercise bike at the gym. I feel like Lance Armstrong
I just found a ladybug shell in my underwear. What was I doing last night?
Randomize
