hook me up with the drugs dog keep up the good work
Have you ever slowed down next to the oldest people on the highway while getting road head just to see their extended reaction?
they ran out of cups so I just drank out of a cowbell.
I just found 3 condoms in my math textbook... in the probability section... Under dependent and independent events...
Just calculated that for my last final tomorrow I need 120% to improve my grade and 53% to keep it..buying 30 packs now, go get dressed
You know were out to late when I call my hook up at 8:08pm and 8:08am in the same night.
I need a Xanax. A Veggie Delight. And exhibition style sex.
I woke up and found a doughnut on our front porch. It's not sketchy though. More like a gift from the gods.
I think it's god's punishment for my behavior in Vegas . Lies were told. Angels were defiled. Pools were pissed in
I draw, I play three woodwind instruments, I press buttons for eight hours at work and Im studying to be a gynecologist... I guarantee I can make you squirt, babe.
Taking care of a girl who just peed on my floor so tonight is not a good night for sex
Double dirt bag award winner tonight. He picked me up in his wife's car.
If you're signed up as "sober sister" can you do cocaine or nah
I ripped my favorite bra in half last night while I was undressing in a drunken rage.
What was the rage all about?
He wouldn't stop to let me get McDonald's french fries.
Oh, do you remember telling everyone you were with that your vagina was angry last night?
Randomize
