There's been so much talk around your vagina it's like a local celebrity
You were telling me to give my phone mouth to mouth so it wouldn't die.. Should i be worried for you?
That girl that gave me a blowjob, I think I fired her last year.
I'm spoon feeding myself tequila for breakfast, should we skip class today?
wanna tell me why theres a glass of water stuffed with tamptons in the freezer?
You stumbled in at 10am, half-clothed and still drunk from last night and yelled "well, its not called a walk of pride!", then passed out on the couch.
I'll even give you a complementary welcome blowjob.
No piss test, hell yeah
FALSE ALARM. PISS TEST. I NEED YOUR PISS.
I drank a girls breast milk at this wedding. Shit was next level
I didn't know. I guess I really haven't had that much time for drinking lately. I mean, outside drinking at home/work.
your were asleep with people making out on top of you. you didn't even look bothered by it.
He called me 'pal' while complimenting how well I took his load on my face. I've officially been fuckbuddy-zoned.
Come on, what straight woman, gay man, or bi person HASN'T scrolled through Justin Trudeau pictures after a bad day?
I woke up completely naked in a mint condition 71 chevelle in someones garage. What.
when you shit yourself on the way to school its time to give up and go home
Randomize
