i must have dtf stamped on my forehead
So he asked me last night if I would cheer him on while he masturbated...
then he pulled down his pants, and i just stared for about a minute..... i was so confused. i didnt know my cat could have a bigger penis than an 18 year old man.
what is the most politically correct way to ask if he still hangs out with the guy that has blue hair and make meth in his car?
will emailing you the 64 kama sutra positions I want to try during the 3 days your here turn you on or terrify you?
we already have meals planned for the weekend.
SEMEN IS NOT A MEAL.
The bouncer was being really rude for no reason. Steph PICKED him up and physically MOVED him from our path on the way out.
Well thats the pro of going out drinking with a pro body builder. Even if its a girl.
OMG OMG OMG DID YOU KNOW THERE ARE MINI CHOCOLATE COWBOY HATS THAT MEN CAN BUY FOR THEIR PENISES?
After my date left I rallied and took the Asian girl home. Flexibility my friend.
Mostly i might never get belligerent again because im gonna have to keep track of a diamond ring.
Bro you were on fire last night...like a less Irish version of Liam Neeson
Nothing says responsible like taking your birth control with an open bottle of wine you left on your night stand from the night before
VASECTOMY FOR THE WIN
Happy 4 year arrest-aversary! I promise no thanksgiving has been as eventful as that one haha..
He waved at a guy who drove by while we were having sex in the back of a rental car in a hospital parking garage prior to visiting family. Almost made me feel guilty but I liked it too much.
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