READY
for what?
TO HAVE SEXXXX
i think you have the wrong number
a guy in a toll booth on I-90 told me to fuck off for not being a red sox fan. i am going to miss massachusetts very much.
I'm over this relationship. I'm just going to get drunk all day, wake up in a puddle of my own vomit again, and go on with my life
Nypd just made jon and hayes chug their forties.
I think there's a website warning girls about me based on the 4 who approached me separately tonight and called me evil. Fuckyoudave.com?
We had a pillow fight. It looks like an angel exploded here. A DRUNK ALCOHOLIC ANGEL
Dude it's SB. It's a proven fact that all you need to survive on is beer, weed, chips and maybe some amphetamines
I think this shark week should consist of getting drunk enough to actually go hunt sharks ourselves.
AND I JUST BURNT MY BACON. WTF MONDAY. SCREW YOU TOO
There something liberating about walking through the dorm hallways without pants on.
THE SUPER HOT BARTENDER WHO LOOKS LIKE RYAN GOSLING JUST WALKED IN. BUT HE DOESNT EVEN WALK HE GLIDES. LIKE AN ANGEL.
The sad moment you remember you have no power for a week and can't flush.....
Wrong number bro but that sounds like a damn shame.
If by fun you mean, did I meet her cousin for the.first time and bang him, then yes it was a productive evening.
So turns out my new assistant isn't really my assistant. The owner needed a title for his FWB so his wife wouldn't catch on. I got a three hundred a month credit limit boost on my corporate credit card instead.
You said you're gonna end your night with a six pack and awful erotica
Randomize
