If I was Danny Tanner and my wife died and left me with three kids I would hire a nanny rather than bringing in the sexually promiscuos uncle with a fetish for leather and rebellion and my obviously mentally ill (possibly gay) best friend Joey, who has never had a girlfriend and consistently talks in cartoon voices... a nanny is just a better choice
You want to go to a white party at LAX
Clubs are lame especially themed ones. Im not in a fucking episode of laguna beach
her dad's the mattress king, she's genetically engineered to be good in bed
Whats the opposite of morning wood? Whatever its called, everyone saw it when it fell out.
like a sex slave...but with a better dental insurance plan
Just calculated that for my last final tomorrow I need 120% to improve my grade and 53% to keep it..buying 30 packs now, go get dressed
Chances are I'll be there for your wedding. Camelbaks filled with jack and coke are appropriate attire, right?
Alright whatever you say... But in the future when you really wish you had a dildo don't come crying to me about it.
Are you coming down for 4/20 or does Easter kinda fuck that up for you?
Hello my rib-scented angel!
so in addition to the two guys I slept with last night, and the third that I turned down this morning, a fourth has appeared. best Valentine's Day ever.
Ive got small boobs, but they sure do like to pop out and party with the big dogs.
Dude. All I know is that I woke up on the floor with two naked chicks who don't speak English.
Clutch
Everything is scary i hate being an adult i hate responsibility tell me a dick joke
Only you would try street racing in a Volvo.
Randomize
