Those strippers last night smelled great. It was the perfect mixture of vanilla and daddy issues.
I just need someone to hold me and tell me i dont turn boys gay
Even the bartender felt bad for me
I'm in my winter jacket and nothing else. very drunk. bring bitches.
Heated debate on which is worse. Pissing your pants or puking all over yourself
there was a 40 knocked over. chips and salsa all over the floor. and she was in her thong doing boot camp on demand in the middle of the room..
I can't believe im sexting my roommate. This is really what my life has come to
Um of course I blew him. He brought me a shamrock shake. It was two o’clock in the morning on St. Patrick’s Day. There was no smoother move basically. He totally earned that head.
Time flies when you're blacked out in a lake
Your CAR. Is in a LAKE. I'd say "a big mess" is a pretty conservative description of the situation.
He told me he wanted to sleep but I touched his penis and listened to his heart beat start racing. I knew sleeping was bullshit.
Use your nursing skills for good, not evil.
The only downside to doctor sex is that getting choked with a stethoscope leaves marks.
My concern for you and peanut butter is the reason I am still awake.
But what we lack in money, we make up for in dry humor and drugs
Sometimes, it’s important to take a moment and kinkshame yourself.
Randomize
