she was wearing a cheetah print one-piece and i slept with her anyway. big mistake.
i just realized Britney Spears and I are more alike than I thought. Both of us have our parents in complete control of our lives, we both have restraining orders on previous boyfriends, and we all know both of us can put on a hell of a show
There is a man on the balcony beside me who claims he is a triceratops. He roared and asked me for a cigarette, telling me he'd eat me if I refused. I love college.
i would never do something against you youre the best i ever had
please tell me you did not just intentionally quote drake..
winter break is gonna be like a weird mixture of rehab fat camp and holiday cheer.
"The juvenile turned and faced the officer, unzipped his pants, placed a fresh cigarette in between his legs and preceded to light it with a match"
Its okay I walked into your house, searched for my wallet in your purse, and took a shot of Tequilia all without eye contact, right?
I would compare it to a jeffrey but in smoothie form. More drugs in here than Bobby Brown's sock drawer.
I just realized I turned down a booty call too. To make cheesecake. God help us all
They won't let us do straight shots of 151 since that guy lit his face on fire.
I feel like drug tests are a little less "random" when you are employed by your father.
I seriously want to say to him "Do you know how many blow jobs you could have gotten this summer?"
So, my love of dick may have landed me in a cult. On the bright side, I now have a discount at Spencer's.
We celebrated Cinco the right way. We took shots of 1800 then he fucked me while Selena was on TV in the background
When have you ever know me to go too far?
Besides the alcoholism, the HR issues, and getting fired from Best Buy for tackling a display?
Yeah. Besides those.
Randomize
